Losing Someone Is My Greatest Fear!

CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING SOOON!
& imm still so not done with my shopping =.="
guessed i have to settle down with my old clothings, i guess? :D

okayys~went blog hopping in a blog!
saw a chinese entry that was th same as my previous entry.
kindaaa fcuk up? budd 4gt it =.="
some ppl juz don have originality!
i guessed i juz have to accept it? (:

okayys~ anyway!
went blog hopping again! & saw this!
try it if yoo guys wants! ^^
as for me i find it super TRUE!!!

hahas.kayys,tats all for now!
byebye ^^

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Looked down on
Death
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I will be Okay !! (i hope..)

trying very hard to be strong again (:
really trying very hard. hehes.
& i guessed imm now?
at least infront of everyone! ^^

din cried tat much alrdy,
budd eye still a lil swollen eh! T_T
&& 1 secret is~
i haven cry till shuang! still quite nan guo barhs ;(
so i guessed if i cry again will be more jialad barhs! (:

anyway!
bee, xiehxieh ni~
i can feel that yoo are showering me with extra love, care, dotes these few days!
& from yor stupid schedule yoo tried to make time for me by buying lunch for me during my lunch time! & yoo have to come all over from sengkang to eunos juz for me!
honestly, i felt bad. coshh of wad happen recently, yoo lyk din get enough rest...
budd cosh of yoo, i stood up again! :D

我爱你..

hMmpx...

2dae, bee bee came over to find me early in e morning...

thn we went to mommom @ Compass Point Yoshinoya.

headed over to popular and she brought a book.

After tat went to take train, and she started tearing...

Telling me why,

*Heart Shattered* tried to cheer her up yet it failed time and agn,

Felt tat i'm suddenly so USELESS,

cant even bring a SIMPLE SMILE to her face,

cant even be there for her when she needed me the most.

Why did things turn out tis way?

Why did God let my Precious SUFFER so much?

Cant everyone just leave her alone for a moment?

Must YOU GUYS make her have a BREAKDOWN b4 u guys stop?

Why?

It was damm heart breaking to say Good Bye to you @ City Hall 2dae bee,

My whole heart dropped out whn i saw u cry and i cant do a thing as i'm startin work soon.

WHY???

God, Tell me WHy if u're there?

Reached Hotel, no mood to work,kept thinking bout my Precious Gal.

Everyone around askin me "Hey dude. you Alright?"

Ignored every1...

Texted Bee and called her, No reply...

When everything seems to crash down, she replied me telling me tat she's @ Tampines.

Felt so relieved, Thn started texting her making sure she's alright.

She replied: U dnt nid dan xin wo la.u go wrk bahs jy.

* tears in my eye*I'm thinking, Hw to not worry bout you Sha Gua?

Telling me you're alright whn u cried in e train?

Babe,Sometimes i really admire u fer being so strong,

But whn tis kinda things happen and u told me to nt worry bout u?

Hw can i ? it may b possible if i'm Heartless but i'm definetly not.

*Bak to work* went fer a quick lunch,

*worried sick*called her,called... and call.

Finally she answer, she told me tat she was in e toilet and @ home reading a story book...*RELIEVED*.

Glad tat she's finally willing to let me into her dark world ,

yet sad as there's nth i can do.

All i can do is sae babe, cheer up k?

Felt lyk a LOSER,Worst of Worst kinda Loser...

Why cant i do anything from tis kinda harms to her?

Feels lyk seeing her Stabbed while i'm tied up right in front of her.

*Work* chionging my mis en place, while thinkin of Bee,

Everyone Fking me saying: Eh? why today so slow? Faster can bo?

IGNORED them, Chef Melvin came over to help me,

askin me if i'm Alright and Stuff...

i said yeap, no problem...

He Smiled and went off.

So many thoughts and feeling bottling up inside me and it finally exploded!!!?

When Cook 3 Ivan came over n started talking lyk an arrogant Fcuk to me,

I SHouted bak @ him : MIND UR OWN FCUKING BUSINESS,

NOT HAPPY WANT TALK OUTSIDE OR WADEVER FK I'M ON,

DUN GIB ME UR FK FACE AND WADSOEVER FKING PATTERN LYK A FKING GANGSTER.

He Shut Up and went off.

Nobody @ Ala Carte Made a noise over tis incident...

Rushing,rushing rushin, Hoping tat i can faster finish all these stuff and call babe,

Chef Ricky ask Cook2 Steven to whipp up dinenr for both of us.

No Mood to eat.

After chionging everything.

FINISH!!! xD So happy as i can finally call Bee~

Thn she answered sounding very slpy and told me she's asleep.

x) Babe, Hope tat u'll have the SWEETEST DREAM today .

LOVE YOU LOADS.

Sorry fer not being able to be there for you babe T_T

PS: Bee,I'll save every single cents,hoping tat One Day,

I Could get u outta there and live a life of our own,

I had enough of seeing u suffer and even if it means work till i drop,

I will,Just Because U're Precious to me...

I LOVE YOU BEE,

Hope tat tomorrow will be e end of these sufferings and start of all e joyfulness x)

Bring Me Away...

been a very much crybaby this few days.
ever thought i have no tears anymore, budd have been crying & crying!
& th worst thing is, i dnt care where imm. i still cried.

mayb i too long nvr cry le barhs.
so once i start i cant stop.. HAHA!!
in train with bee, i cried.
in toilet , i cried.

b4 slping i cried.

smoking time, i cried.

b4 i eat, i cried.
dhen bee say, my eyes have been swollen lyk fcuk! LMAO!
felt tat imm a shyt! sometimes i dnt even oe wad imm crying about!
which is th worst thing. HAHAHA!

i made everyone smile..
budd i made myself cried lyk nobody bz!
OF COSH!
th 1 tat made me cried isnt bee.
i oso dnt oe wad made me kip crying! LAMESHYT!
maybb imm juz too tired.
maybb i juz nid a break from everything.

& sorry bee, i made yoo nearly cried too.
i dnt lyk th me this few days.
seems to be so fragile...so fragile...

为什么我会那么脆弱？
为什么我的人生就这么悲惨？
我该这么做才能逃离这里？
为什么我所做的一切努力，都不能结束我的痛苦？
我好痛苦..真的好痛苦...

... ... ...

Hell Yes! imm crying again.. ;(

back blogging!
juz had a bad "talk" with MR LAU, who is my dad?
yesh, is a question mark.!

after everything i had from yoo & the lau family.
how i wished imm not part of this lau family!
how i wished i gort nth to do with yoo guys!
how i wished i din oe yoo guys!
sometimes i really hope yoo are dead!
yahs. i know im evil to say this. BUDD YESHH!!!
i hope yoo are dead! LMAO!!
& to be honest this is not th 1st time ever i had this tinking!!

yahs yoo dnt care whether imm happy or not!
budd same to yoo, i don care yoo are happy a not.
imm still gg find a part time job!
i rather work till die! tired till die!
i will still WORK ANOTHER PART TIME JOB!!
i will still continue my job hunting!!
& for yor info, even if i have ang bao from my company,
i wnt even tell yoo lurhs!
standard every month $200 means $200! no more no less!
& ohh yaaa!!! dont say i only gib yoo $200 okay? cosh everytime in th month yoo will ask another $100 from me! or when yoo all gt no money to buy ingredients! yoo all take it from me too!

so wad is th difference between me n yor son?
& dnt say i spend alot, is yoo dnt even oe wad imm spending on!
budd anyway i spend my own money, not urs!
n plz dnt expect me to gib yoo $300 per month cosh i dnt earn 1.5k permonth lyk yor son did!
yesh! yor son deduct 300 for his cpf, LYK HELLO! yoo mean i din gt deducted for it?
& his take home pay is still higher than me by $200 can?! so wad is th difference?!
after deducting his cpf, his $300 for this lau family, he still have a hundred more to spend compared to me okay?!
yesh! yor son gt th hp bills he nid to pay, SO DO I!!I PAID MYSELF OKAY?!
yesh! yor son gt buy insurance! budd is lyk HELLO! is yoooo made him to buy?
& ohh ya! i did buy my own insurance too! is juz tat yoo guys dont oe!!LMAO!
yesh! yor son paid & get the stuff for his computer himself, SO DO I!
when my laptop is down, did yoo even bothered?! NOOO! yoo din!
IS I BUY EVERYTHING MYSELF TO REVIVE MY LAPTOP!!
& wad more i still have to pay $100 to the stupid cpf board money! & can i ask yoo, DID YOR SON NID TO PAY HIS ITE EDUCATION FEE TO YOR CPF?! HE DONT OKAY?!
yesh! this laptop is yoo buy gib me 1, BUDD SO WAD? yoo mean yoo never ever bought a computer for yor son? IS LYK HELLO!!! b4 he go rebuild th whole computer, b4 everything, is yoo paid for the computer okay?! & we still nid to snatch to use to computer OKAY?!
yesh! yor son nid to pay his internet bills himself! LYK HELLO!! ME TOO OKAY!
is juz tat yoo din even oe i have signed for internet to be used at home cosh yor son don let me tapp his!!
& ONE MORE THING!! i nid to be yor free maid when imm home! & wad yor son did huh?
NOTHING OKAY?!
& MOST OF TH TIMES, I DID YOR STUPID HOUSE CHORES I STILL NID GT SCOLDED OVER IT!
I DO OR I NVR DO I OSO KENA KAO PEI BY YOOO!

& not to 4gt! when i off work & went home, WAD YOO ALWAYS DID TO ME?!

i juz reach home haven even sit down yoo ask me help yor wife do this do tat!

YESH! she work she tired! i nvr work? i nt tired?

& HELL YES!! i nvr heard yoo saying this to yor son too!

once he is home, he sits infront of his com, & YES!

yoo all scold him to ask him go bathe, go eat dinner!

WAD ABOUT ME?!

& this is wad yoo all call DOTE on me! HAHAHA!
& yeah, so wadddd if yoo tell th whole world yoo dote on me, yoo spend alot on me!
lyk hello!
yeahs! yoo bought a N70 for me, & i tink tats th only thing i rmb yoo bought for me?

budd so wad? in the end yoo still sell it & kept the cash isnt it?!

ohh ya! not to 4gt! yesh! when yoo tio 4d tat time yoo gave me $500 bucks!
BUDD SO WAD?! when yoo gave me th $500 , yoo wan me to save budd at th same time yoo deduct my allowance & yoo din gib me my transportation fee too!
so tat replace th $500 isnt it?!
when i have a tuition teacher in th past, YOR SON GET IT TOO!
when yor son did well for his exams, he gt his discman & so.
wad about me huh?! wad did yoo ever gib me for my exams?! yesh! yoo did ever say yoo wanted to buy th walkman for me! budd is when imm in primary 3! budd till primary 6 even till now im 20 yrs old! i din receive any walkman from yoo at all!!

budd anyway, is okay!
cosh i dnt work hard for yor present!
& dnt say yoo pian xin towards me lurh hoh!
is juz tat when i do things i dnt make the whole world oe!
imm not lyk yor son or bodoh sis lurh hoh!
if yoo dont even oe wad is happening in my life!
dont come KAOPEI KAO BU LURHS HOH!

ohh ya! plz stop telling the whole world how much yoo dote on me lurh hoh!
cosh i dnt feel tat way lurh hoh!
only when i gt extra cash to gib yoo then yoo oe hw to dote on me lurh hoh!
if nt yoo will be lyk this few days giving me attitude problems!
is lyk HELLO!!! both yor son n bodohsis have extra cash for their cny clothings!
BUDD! do i have it a nt huh? I DON OKAY?!
& i still gave yoo yor $200 bucks once i take my pay okay?!
i still nid pay hp bill which is $100 okay?!

& still i have to buy my cny clothing by my own pathetic pay okay?!

& I STILL NID MY OWN LIVING EXPENSES CAN?!

of cosh in th start of th month i gt no money liao lurh!

all of yoo tinks i earn 2million per month isit?!

KAO EHHH!

did i complaint anything did i say eh! yoo oso muz gib me? DID I?
I DIN OKAY?! fcuk yoo!
mayb last time yoo shouldnt gib bro to gugu, YOO should gib me to her!
mayb i will be happier man or mayb yoo will be happier too!

& its not i wan to be calculative towards yoo all!

cosh is yoo all wan to count with me 1st!!

& if i wan to count, i dnt tink i gt owe yoo any more money,

is more of yoo owing me can?!

FK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- TO GOD -
plz~ let me leave this place!
take me away! let him chase me out of the house!
i beg yoo.... ;(

2008年の&へのBYE; こんにちは2009年に!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
omygosh! so fast 2009 liao!
immmmmmmmm so old alrdy!!!! :(

ok~ let me recap wat did i do in th yr 2008!
hmm~ been having a bad yr in 2008 lurh
for worklife~

been job hopping with all th boss doting on me! *HOHO*
for friendship~

met alot of passerby but did met some joker in th end due tuh bee!
for family~

still quareling over money here & there! budd compared tuh last few yrs is btr? :D
for love life~

met alot of bastards down th road! been hurt & insulted! budd imm glad i met bee! *eventhough we did quarel alot lurhs! xP*

as for 2009 i hope everything will be btr! :D
for worklife~

i hope i could find a job tat suits me th most & stop me from job hopping again! :D
for friendship~

i hope all my current friendship could last & be true to each other! :D
for family~

i hope money isnt a issue for us to be always quareling & hopefully we could lead a btr in yr 2009! :D
for lovelife~

i hope LAWRENCE PEH ZHEN HAO is th one for me! :D

anyway~ spend my new year celebration with the girls & boys!
& not tuh 4gt my hubby! x3
had steamboat & bbq & majongs!
& i really suey on new year!! T_T
lost $24 bucks sio :(
budd overall had a great day with them yahs?! :D
ohh ya!! went to the temple there is saw fireworks!
OMYMAMA! 1st time i watching fireworks with my boyf!
& the feeling is really nice!
i mean its th 1st yr i spend new year with my frens & boyfs! :D
& took some pictures tuh be uploaded real sooon! xP
n hoh! immm not gg tuh have any new year resolution mann!
cosh all wnt come true! HAHAHAHA!
then went back tuh bee house ard 5+am lorhs!
so tireddd T_T
then rest awhile & went home ard 10am =x
din get scolding from papa! *HEHEX*
then reach home & slp all th way!
till 4+ wake up awhile & went back tuh slp again!
dhen papa wake me up for dinner ard 7+ x=

&& now im blogging in office again!
its so early right?! i oe~~ :DD

k lurhs tats all for now!
LOVE ALL!


♥Miracle