Happy 2♥1♥ (:

Hello Bloggy!!

Today is the last day of 2009, 31st December 2009!
So many things happen in this 1 year, so many things still in my mind.
Smiles :) & Tears :'( , Jokes :D & Arguments :@ , Patch (: & Break Ups :(
Went through a lot of obstacles & happiness this year with friends, family & boyf.
& For many people i thought i had lost, came back to me in the end. :D
For many people i never even think that one day they will be the one who is gonna leave me, but in the end they did left me behind.
But whatever it is i am going be strong. :D



For Myself,
2009 is a disappointing year, yet is a year that make me learn & grow.
Going through loads of heartbreaks this year, fall & stand up again by myself.
& really did changed a lot within this year. May it be my thinking or attitude. Things that had never been important to me, which i have been taking granted for, became the most important part in my life. & For the year 2♥1♥, i really hope everything could change for the better! & me to earn big bucks & most importantly! back to school plan & weight losing plan to be a success! :D



For Lau Family,
I still remember how angry they are at me when i sacrifice them for boyf sake. I still remember me skipping my mum's birthday celebration this year at my place whereby everyone is there except her eldest daughter who went to accompany her boyf, & yes i felt guilty. I still remember every single thing dad have been telling me and asking me, which had make me go into deep thoughts. I still remember how disappointed he is in me at that point of time. All i could say is just, sorry :( But i am still glad things got better now compared to then. :D




For Friends & Colleagues,
Thanks to all which have been with me all along, supporting me, lending me your listening ears, talking to me when i am really lost & helping me, guiding me out of the darkest point and of cause sharing your past experience with me. You guys taught me a lot of stuffs in life, but still i am sorry that i cause you guys to be worried about me all these times. & really many many many thanks for standing by me no matter how :D

As for those who choose to leave me behind, i am fine with it. My life still move on without you, i still can stand up without you. & for those who have been spreading my stuffs around, backstabbing me, badmouthing me, you know who you are, i don't want to name you out. But whoever it is, stop whatever you are doing before i turn nasty. I mean, put yourself in my shoe, i think you won't like me to be spreading your private stuffs around too, yahs? (:




For relationship,
I guess everyone who is closed enough to him & me should know what's going on in this 1 year of our relationship yahs? In this 1 year, i guess we had more tears than laughter. Had been having lots of obstacles in our relationship, nearly broke up lots of time, had a lot more quarrels compared to the previous year. Everything causes a deep scar in our heart, causing a 裂痕 in our relationship that can't be mended. We can no longer go back to what we used to be & none of us is putting enough effort to create new loving moments. & so i , personally felt that 27o3o8, which lasted for 21months is in the danger zone of ending. But i guess both of us have been mentally prepared for the day to come. But still, we would hope that miracle would happen again for us, for our relationship, that we are able to walk hand-in-hand till the end of time, like what we had promised on the 3rd monthsary. ♥


& last but not least,
hope everyone could enjoy the countdown today & I am here to wish everyone a
HAPPY NEW YEAR !!
Hoping that we could all have a better & happy year in 2♥1♥!!
BYE.♥

The Wound Would Never Be Heal.

Hello Bloggy!

Am back posting again & I am ultra bored lurhs! Had been very absent minded recently! Even at work. ;( Something is wrong with my mind man! & the thing that irritates me to the max is, I can’t even type whatever my mind wanted to say! As you can see in my previous entry, there are like ultra loads of typo and missing words here & there! *ROARRR* ultra angry sia!

Ok anyway I’ve been chionging 終極三國 and haven been watching my other 3 Taiwan dramas! (桃花小妹, 下一站, 幸福 & 海派甜心) Time isn’t enough for me man! Can’t finish everything with only 24 hours & I ultra hate it!

& met up with mei yesterday! It seems like we haven been meeting for very long lurhs. Had some updates with each other’s life & did the usual stuff we did every time we meet up! D:D:

Then after I went back, I have told boyf about all my thoughts towards our relationship, good or bad. & I am glad that he could understand and accepted everything I said. & he promise to give me time to sort everything out. So thanks man, because that’s what I really need for now. D: Ok that’s all for now!
BYE♥

I Admit I am Over - Sensitive At Times, But That's Me.

Hello bloggy!
Miss me or not? D:

Anyway you all could just ignore whatever I am going to post now, as it is just gonna be a FUCKING LONG POST.

I am back blogging again as I feel that there is a need for me to let out some stuffs that have been kept in me, running in my mind & I didn’t know who could I turn to & so here I am. So for people, who hate this, could just close this as it doesn’t really matters to me if anyone reads it or not.

Quarrel with boyf again 2 days ago, which is our 21st monthsary. Shouting like nobody business at the void deck in the night & went home after an hour later. Many memories that I had with him flashing back in my mind. I guess there is no way for us to improve on the relationship anymore. Many things proved that we aren’t suitable at all. We don’t compromise like how we did in the past. We stand firm in our own stand. He got back his man’s dignity and me, fighting for my rights.

As we got together longer, we changed the way like how we used to be treating each other. For me, I don’t feel the same anymore. For him, I don’t know and I don’t want to assume. & for now, I don’t have the trust in him anymore. I don’t have faith in him, in this relationship. I stated very clearly in my previous post when we had similar arguments.
I don’t want to get hurt. Even before we step into this relationship, I made my stand very clear. I don’t ever want to get hurt again & he promised he won’t be the one hurting me. But of cause, i don't deny i hurt him too.

& of course I guess he should be very honored. He is the 1st boyf that made me lost control in front of my siblings. & now I really believe in the saying that, when a guy is wooing a girl, he made promises, he sweet talks, he give in 100%, he do whatever the girl likes. But once he got the girl, all the promises got broken. All the sweet talks became hurtful. All the effort he put in became a dream for the girl. Why would I say this? Cause this is how I feel.

He asked, “Can you talk like an adult? You are talking like a child!” He said, “Think whatever you like, feel whatever you want lurhs hoh, you happy 就好 lurhs hoh!” He said, “You broke your promise, and you said empty promise.” He said, “I have been coming down to Tampines for past 2 weeks!” He asked, “My family don’t need to see me ah?” He asked, “Don’t you think that you are very bo liao?” He said, “I feel that I had spent enough time with you already.” He said, “If sleep over your house is very irritating of me then I won’t be sleeping over!” He asked, “When I am talking & you cut me, don’t yourself rude?!” He asked, “Can’t you make up your mind earlier? Every time also last minute! If you tell me earlier I could have plan right?!” He asked, “What is the difference with saying now and after 12am?” He said, “Say now lurhs, once & for all, I don’t want and I won’t quarrel.” He asked, “Am I wrong to spend my father birthday with him and skipped your family event?!” He said, “You made me like a fool!” He said, “Don’t be silly, for Chinese new year I will be with you all as my family members are going M’sia!”

My mind thinking “FUCK YOU LURHS!” you want to quarrel with me on anniversary then come lorhs. You want to count right? Then let’s count from the day we started in this relationship lorhs! You dare to ask me that question? (“My family doesn’t need see me ah?”) *FUCK SHYT* you only didn’t go home for a day & you dare ask me that question?! I SPEND 1-2MONTHS AT SENGKANG BEFORE YOU GO IN NS, EVERYDAY AFTER WORK I GO OVER SENGKANG! EVERY OFF DAY I STAYED OVER AT YOUR PLACE! MY FAMILY MEMBER DOESN’T EVEN GET TO SEE ME AT HOME AT ALL FOR 1-2MONTHS! & for a day at my place only you dare to ask me that question?! ROFL! & for 2 weekends of coming down to Tampines you feel very proud of it? You want count with me right? Let’s count! How many times had I gone down to SengKang for the past 21 months! How many times had I stayed over at SengKang?!

I changed my mind last minute of not going down to your place, is there anything wrong? Didn’t you inform me last minute too that you won’t be coming over my place for Xmas party cause of your dad birthday?! Isn’t that last minute too?! & for goodness sake! They even prepared your presents lurhs let alone food! So don’t come to me saying, “make me go home alone with full of rice!” when in the 1st place, you didn’t even ask me whether I am going over for dinner a not lurhs okay?! & please you dare ask me since when you give me empty promise? For how many times you gave me empty promise and for how many times I gave you empty promise?! You want compare? ROFL! & you asked me to say whatever I am unhappy with once and for all, you won’t quarrel with me right? Then please lurhs! Aren’t we quarreling once I say out everything? If like that not call quarreling then I don’t know what we are like anymore!

& of course you have got no wrong in staying home for your father birthday celebration! OF COURSE YOU GOT NO FAULT! But are you trying to tell me that your family is more important than mine. Or are you trying to tell me that I am wrong; I am foolish to skip my mother’s birthday for your sake? Like I said before, your whatever family events, gathering, birthday celebration, I HAD TO BE THERE! Why? Cause they, including you, wanted me to me there! & I have to skip all my family events, birthday celebrations, gathering! & you can’t do that for my sake. Of course I didn’t say you are at fault. But I am totally disappointed in you that, whatever I could do and sacrifice for you, you can never do it the same for me too! And I will be looking like a fool listening to your NEXT TIME, NEXT TIME & NEXT TIME! Which don’t even happen? LOLS! & please man! Don’t take my family as spare tyre man! Only when your family got no events, no gathering, not in Singapore you will think of my family. As a boyf of mine, that’s how you treat my family. Really thanks so much huh! You are the best boyf I ever had man!

& please lurhs am I wrong to avoid quarreling on the anniversary since it should be a happy one. & am I wrong to say that we will quarrel if I were to say whatever I am unhappy with? & of course for me I don’t think its wrong of me to say I will say after 12am as I don’t want to quarrel on our anniversary! & do I really sound like a kid this way? I don’t fucking understand man!

& you asked me to think whatever I want, feel whatever I feel right, I happy can le?! OF COURSE I WILL MAN! Cause I fucking understand and know that my bestest boyf doesn’t give a damn to how I feel and what I think! My bestest boyf doesn’t care, aren’t bothered and don’t give a damn about me! & FUCKING SHYT! I have to think and feel for myself to minimize the hurt for myself that you created!

Oh. So with 1 day with me, you feel that’s enough time spent together? Alright then! Thanks for all the shits you had been saying to me when you are in the camp and in the past. Need me to spell out everything? I DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND MAN! When we spend everyday together, you can bloody hell tell me that you are sorry that you don’t spend enough time with me. When you are in the camp, you can tell me how sorry you are to not able to spend the day with me when it’s our anniversary! & when you are out of the camp, you can tell me you feel that it’s enough to spend a day with me and a fucking good excuse using your family in front of my mum to go back early like 6pm when you don’t even need to book in on that day & its our anniversary! & WHEN I ASK YOU, YOU SAID YOU DON’T KNOW!! ROFL! Nice one man! So look! Who is the kid huh?! ROFL!

& its not that I want to say you are irritating when you are staying over at my place! But look! I did say that you sleep on my brother’s bed! But my bodohsis says she wants to use the computer! So it would be very cramp for you to sleep on my brother’s bed! So I asked you to sleep on my bed! & what did you say? You said, “so high, I sleep will drop down of the bed lurhs, I so fat later the bed collapse how? Etc.” Don’t you find yourself very naggy?! You don’t like people to nag at you, SO DO I! Then I ask you to sleep on my sister bed, you say I give you attitude! I ask you lurhs. You can say my friend ma fan when she come my house to sleep, she here can’t, there can't. Think about it yourself lurhs. You, yourself said and did the same thing! ROFL!

& you said I was rude to cut you when you are talking right? Please look into the mirror yourself! You cut me too when I am talking! I didn’t say you & you dare to say me?! Are you any much better than me not?! ROFL!

& guys are really guys. Really think that everything will be ok after a night of sleep? I don’t know why there is a sudden change in you over a night. You can be the one shouting at me previous night, and next day, you can take as if nothing had happen before. You continue to talk to me like normal, you didn’t kao-pei me that I didn’t talk to me as much like before, you keep finding stuffs to ask me even though my answer is only ya, okay, orh, oh, got, haven, don’t have, etc. Don’t you find yourself funny? Whatever reasons you have got for this sudden change over a night, it doesn’t applies to me & I am unable to do it. I am not avoiding to talk to you, just that I have got nothing to say anymore.

I don’t know whether you will see this or not, but doesn’t really matters to me. Happy in seeing this update of MY blog, not happy with this update of MY blog, doesn’t really matters to me. & even if you read this, happy or unhappy. Whatever you think, whatever you feel. You 爽就好 lorhs.

Remember what I said on the phone chat? I said, “How you treat me, will be how I treat you.” You said, “Don’t you think you very bo liao meh? Don’t talk like a kid, in a relationship keep on thinking about revenge, revenge & revenge!!” & this is my reply to you. “how you treat me will be how I treat you” this sentence is taught by you. Think back to the quarrel we had around 6months ago. This is what you said to me. I am just repeating what you have said. So when you say I am childish, don’t you think you are worst? Can you are a guy. Whatever you said about me, you did it before. Then why don’t you say yourself as childish? Whatever you use to chak me, I will do it back to you. Not revenge, but teaching a small little boy, not to messed with Jolanda jiejie.

Please re-call your memory, & tell me who is the childish one, the one who doesn’t want to compromise, the petty one, the wrong and the right one. If it’s my fault I won’t deny, if it isn’t then don’t push the blame to me. & if it’s really my fault, explain in logic to me and I will apologize.

As my bestest boyf, you should know that when you are good to me, I will pay you back in double. But if you aren’t good to me, don’t expect me to do the same to you. This relationship isn’t a game of revenge. All I wanted is simple and you choose not to give it to me even when you can. You made the choice; or rather we made the choice, & it was wrong.

I truly regretted to pull you back to me when you choose to leave me again n again. I regretted to hold you close to me again n again. But yet, I can’t bear to let go. Contradicting right? Lols! We have got many things to work on, but yet we no longer choose to put in any effort. I don’t know why we are still on this relationship when none of us give in to each other to maintain this relationship of ours. I won’t deny, the feeling I had for you did faded after all the hurtful quarrels. But maybe you will, I can imagine you saying I putting words into your mouth. But all I can say is, the feeling you gave me isn’t the same anymore. I no longer feel that you love me as much as before. I no longer feel secure beside you. I no longer have trust and faith in whatever you try to sweet talk. & now I can imagine you asking what I want from you now. Lols! But again, I choose not to answer this question. Because I had repeated many times, and I don’t want to repeat anymore.

I tried to give all I had to you, I don’t expect any in return, but I hope this relationship could be fair. Fair to us, to everyone around us. Even though this relationship is ours & not others, but we can’t deny the fact that people around us does affect our relationship. We can’t ignore them. Especially is our family member. & I do know your family matters a lot to you, even though my family side doesn’t mind that you don’t spend time with them, but please, as a human, spare a thought for them and don’t take my family as spare tyre. I seriously HATE that! Just imagine I do that and said that to you and your family, how would you feel? I’m not trying to be selfish here. But I guess I did put in a lot of effort for your family, & I hope you too try to put in some effort for my family. & that would be appreciated.

Okay, enough of my complaints! & I feel much better now!
Bloggy is always my best friend listening to all the complaints I have got! D:D:

Bye♥

JoL says: HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO PUIPUI!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY MY LOVED!!

hopefully everything will go as smooth for your present & future!

& you shall always be my one & only bubbly, ben ben, hubby, puipui, blackpig, boyf!

no matter what happen i will be there for you too! ♥

I LOVE YOU & I WILL ALWAYS DO!!!

okays peeps, more to be update later!

Signing off, loved.

JoL 说: Cough cough go away~ don't ever come back again! :{

I’m still coughing very badly :’{

Anyway, good news! Today is the end of the month! This means I will be taking my pay soon! BUT! Bad news is, I won’t be taking it today, which means another 1 month pay owned. :’{ But never mind, since I’m still able to survive, so it’s fine with me & it’s a good time for me to save money for my chalet! :}

AND! Since today is the end of September, peeps who haven change their ezlink card to the latest version please do so! As the old version ezlink couldn’t be use anymore starting from 1st of October. & by then for each new version of ezlink card you buy, there will be a charge of $15.00!! So HURRY! Go get your ezlink changed fast! :}

Then Monday, B came over & at the same time pass me back my necklace which I left it at his place, then slack with mei and gary & went off around 11+pm & both of us was fcuking tired lurhs! But good for B that he will only be working for half day the next day & bad for me that I’m working full shift the next day! :’{

Then heard from B that while we were talking on the phone, someone called him up saying happy birthday in advance to him then he just reply, don’t need lurhs & kap! *LOL*, then B was like thinking & saying, for what sia? Did & say so many things behind our back still want to act one close with us for? Like no point lurhs! *LOLS* & of course, I AGREED! So eleven claps for B! :}, Ohh ya, in any case if that someone happens to see my blog & got flared up about it, so sorry man, get this right, it’s my blog! of course I have the right to say whatever I want lurhs dey & especially when it has something to do with my boyfriend & it's a fact. So don’t have to blame anyone for this, of cause not to your closest too. :} Not happy about it? Just close this window, there is a [x] on the top right hand corner, you can just click it & leave. :} :}

Anyway, yesterday went over to B’s place, had dinner together & watched television. Then yesterday was Fann & Christopher‘s wedding night, my eyes were glue to the television for 1 hour, & they are really sweet lurhs! Can’t deny that, I’m very envy! Haha :}

Okays lurhs, that’s all for today? :}
Signing off, loved.

JoL 说: Myone&onlylove is Loved!

I’m coughing very badly :{
& a Happy belated 18th Monthsary to my love!!
and sadly, on the eve of our anniversary one of B’s friend pass away so B & I went down to the funeral around the evening & off around 11+pm, slacked awhile & cab home around 3+am.

Yesterday, B came over & the four of us (2 couples of the Lau’s) went Michy’s place for their birthday celebration. (anyway, did I mention? last last Sunday, B came over too & went pat’s place for my 外公’s birthday celebration & I really liked the way he interact with my aunt & cousins! :}) Okay, anyway back to topic, before going to Michy’s place we went over TM first & grab a little present for her (hopefully she like it. :}) & after that we cab over to her place & went down to the playground & played, pictures will be post later after I grab from bodohsis! :}

Then B & I bus to Tamp, & my suey-ness starts. Firstly, we wanted to watch Phobia2 but we missed the earlier timeslot so we skip the movie. Secondly, we walk around & train to Bedok as I wanted to buy slippers! But in the end! The shop stops selling the slippers that I wanted! :{ So we walk around finding other shops & see whether they have the slippers not, but in the end, we found nothing! Thirdly, we trained back to pasir ris & wanted to cab back to sengkang as both of us are pretty tired! & after 2 of bus 88 drove past, we are still standing there waiting for the taxi! & many uncles don’t want to stop for us! & after 20-30mins, finally! We saw a taxi, & the auntie was our savior for the day! Thinking that my suey-ness will end? NO!! Because when I’m going back, I waited for 20mins for the next taxi to come! :{ So fucking suey man!

& As for today, hopefully, I won’t be as suey as yesterday!

That’s all for now!
Signing off, loved.

JoL says: YAY :}

Finally! I am done with the blogskin! Have been doing since the day before! Isn’t it nice? Got a rather hard time figuring out the codes and editing the pictures! But anyway I am happy with the final product! :}

Okay anyway, been MIA from my dearest blog! Got really busy with stuffs and many things happened recently. Seen enough of what kind of person one can be! Be it nice or bad. But anyway I guess b and I had another lesson learnt, isn’t it? Next time we shall just open our eyes bigger to see if the person deserves our help or not! & sorry b, I have grumble a lot to you & did blame you for whatever happened recently and din understand that cause you are closer to them, you could have felt worst. So let’s keep to what we agreed, now only your family, my family, you and I matters, and nothing else. :} So no more nonsense from anyone else, even if it takes your life, it got nothing to do with us! So simply leave us alone from now on. :} (& just a tip for peeps who are in relationship or facing friendship problems, no matter what happen, even if you are the closest one to another, you don’t have any right to interfere the other from having friends with whoever they like, just simply turn the other off more!)

& GOOD NEW PEEPS!
I am having chalet at Costa Sand Resort at Pasir Ris for my 21st birthday! Gonna cost me a bomb but opening a chalet for my birthday has always been a wish of mine. So I gonna save, save & save all I could and hopefully everyone could enjoy to the max on that day! :} Thinking of it makes me go YAY YAY YAY!! Haha :}

Okay, that’s all for now!
BYE-E! :}

JoL says: Be Right Back!

I'll be back to post once i change my blogskin!
:DD

MISS YOO PEEPS!
<3

JoL says: Omigodd!

MORNING!!!
I’m really lazy to update my blog already due to having the same routine everyday!(smoke, eat, sleep, play, work, chat on the phone, sms, watch television, read story book.), & I know that I’m having a pathetic boring life now! Re-calling to the life I’m having in the past! Omigod! I missed them so much so much!

& last Saturday, I trained to Northpoint & catch “The Proposal” with puipui, after he reports to Yishun camp. & trained to AngMoKio & had our lunch cum dinner there. & bused back to Sengkang & slacked with the usual cliques. Then I cabbed home at 5am in the morning! & went over to Sengkang again at 8+ in the morning & send puipui to pasir ris and bused over to Patrick’s place & home around evening.

Anyway, I had the worst nightmare ever on Tuesday! Solo in work cause both of them on mc! But the time past so fast! But I work the hell out of me & got damn tired when I reached home! & had a little argument with puipui & fall asleep as soon as we hang the phone.

Then yesterday was a relief! Cause they came back from their medical leave! So I don’t have to be working so hard & still have the time to play around & chit chat! :D & reached home, read finish another book “How Could He Do This by Emma Charles” , another sad story, is talking about a mother & 2 girls of hers’ how they survived through the darkest point of life, having a betrayed husband and father, leaving the impact on a single disabled mum and 2 young girls with little income. & after finish reading the book I felt giddy and fall asleep straight on my bed!

& when I woke up this morning, see puipui’s message. He told me that he got quarantined for 7days. & he is on the way home. So hopefully he gets better already. :D

Okays that’s all for now!
bye-e-e peepos! :DD

JoL says: Happy 17th monthsary. :}

It’s another rainy day.
At the same time, today is our 17th monthsary.

Don’t know whether it still matters to him a not but still,

Happy 17th monthsary puipui.

Haven been really contacting with him this week, he is busy with his stuffs and I’m keeping myself busy with my stuffs and had been sleeping early too. & just one or two messages a day kept our relationship going for this week, & he might not be booking out this weekend as he might be having test or something? But no worries! I’m still staying strong and might be stronger than before, even without him by my side. :}

Alright been watching movies and series on Funshion! & had a great laugh after all!
& I have finish reading the book “Scarred by Sophie Andrews”, the story made me think back a lot. But it did motivate me a lot to breathe on when times I lost my breath. So it’s greatly encouraged by me to buy the book okay emo-peeps? :}

& peeps who wanted to find out more about “Scarred” before you buy the book, you could visit the website @ http://www.sophieandrews.co.uk/ .

Ok that’s all for now!
Bye peeps!

JoL says: dead in my own world =/

Morning peeps! I’m back posting!
Went MIA for like 2 weeks? Is anyone out there still reading it not? LOLS!
Anyway, I’m thinking what to blog about cause my life have been quite fuck up!
Many things running in my mind, but I didn’t know what to blog about. =/

& babes and hunk,
Is it true that when guys serve NS, they tend to change a lot?
Or is it girls are the one changing when their boyf is serving NS?

But anyway, I don’t care any more. I will just do the things I feel its right & I am happy about it. Everything, all the memories that we had for 1 year 4months+ will be thrown away. Since I am not allowed to talk about the past, make sure you don’t. & treat me the way you wan me to treat you, this is what you told me but yet you can’t do it. I’ve to change too much just to suit you & in the end this is what I deserved. This is man huh? When your girl treats you badly, treats you like a shit. You gave her everything in the world & tell her she is worth whatever you are doing. & when the girl wanted to treat you better, giving you everything she’s got, helping you to do stuffs when you aren’t around. Hoping that you will feel happier, and heartbreaks are all you could give her. & tell her cause that’s how she treats you first.

To me now, why should I do things for you which I don’t even like it? Why should I treat you better now & let you took me for granted? Why should I believe whatever you have been telling me when you are in the camp & face all this shit alone when you are out of camp? Why should I rush down to meet you when you are booking out on the day just to let you ask me when am I here, I am working the next day? Why should I rush down to meet you when you are booking in on the day just to let you hurt me again by commenting how I dressed up? Why should I quarrel with my dad & mum just because of you? Why should I be bothered when you are having diarrhea & when I am having gastric cramp you throw me alone at the back? Why should I be spending time with your family when you rather wait for me downstairs when I am preparing & not bothered to even come up & say hi? Why can’t I scold vulgarities at you when you scolded me cheebye? Why should I listen to your sorry again & again for this 1 month & listen to you saying you will treat me better for your next book out, but when you are out you treats me the same as your previous book out? Asking myself, are you worth everything I did for you for these few months after our last breakup? I don’t know...

& from now on, I will go back to the life before I know you after I got hurt by all those bastards whom I knew. I will get back on my feet alone, & depend on my own. I will no longer rely on you, depend on you, and not even a single bit.

Don’t ask me if I am ok a not? Cause the LMC in the past will not fall so easily. & don’t ask me if we are ok a not? Cause I don’t know. Don’t ask me if I love you not? It’s because love you too much and that’s why I am hurt that deep by you. & if you realize, I haven been asking you whether you love me a not, reason is not because you keep telling me you love me, but is because, I want you to show me you love me & not through telling me you love me.

But anyway, it’s no longer important already. Not because I don’t want to be with you, or I don’t love you. But I don’t want to ask anything from you & listen to all the sweet talks that will only happen for one day & everything will be back to square one…

JoL says: Enough...

我只想让一切保持现状，
不想再有任何的改变，
我不想再受伤，不想再哭了...

JoL says: I am so sensitive! so what?

HELL-OS!

morning everyone!:D

Went down to sk after work, met up with the cliques.
had an argument with puipui ytd through the phone, on the way home.
don't know why i am so sensitive to what he say, but i just lost my mind yesterday!
then reached home, went to bed straight.

As for today, puipui is booking out but not sure is it afternoon or evening.
might not be meeting him today & tomorrow. Let's see how the wind blow today. :D

Ok that's all for today!
a rather short post for the day,
& ohh ya! i have been playing restaurant city!
& i need BACON, PASTA & EGG for trade!
so any kind-hearted peeps wana trade me?! :D

BYEE-E!!:D

JoL says: Lost control of my emotions.:'(

:'(

再也控制不了我自己的情绪，
压力好大，好烦，
内心里好难过，好无奈，好无助..
不知道该怎么办， 不知该做什么让自己开心
好希望现在他能在我的身边，
像以前那样，在我的身边..

可是他不可以.....

JoL says: I am upset deep in,who fucking uds?! (T_T)

HELL-OS!
I've cut my hair! & so fucking short now lurhs!
So upset that my tail is gone :'(

Anyway! I am thinking of getting a diploma certificate!
But not very sure which course should i enter.
Whether is it a Accounting? Psychology? Hopitality & tourism? Logistic?
Which should i choose? Any idea from anyone? :D

Okay, i think thats all!
Gonna check out the private school courses & fees!

& wait for puipui's call & msg!

HE HAVEN CALL ME FOR THE DAY! :'(

NIGHTS ALL!(L)

-EDITED-

I DON'T WAN TO WAIT ANYMORE!!!

NABEICB!!!!!!

I DON'T WANT CARE! DON'T WANT BOTHER ANYMORE!!!

CB!!!!!!!

HATE IT LURH FUCK!!!

REALLY FUCKING HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*I AM RUNNING AWAY FROM EVERYTHING!EVERYONE!*

BYEE-EE!

JoL says: Getting used to the life w/o you by my side :D

HELL-OS!

I haven been blogging for the past 2 days! I am so sorry peeps!
Anyway! Puipui is going to book out soon & I had prepared a surprise for him! :D

Just came back from sengkang. Did the same old thing again! But before that, I slept on puipui’s bed! But still, I didn’t dream of him! But anyway! Aunty was so cute lurhs! Saw me then keep smiling & smiling! I guess she really miss puipui a lot! Then some more I resemble puipui a lot! Anyway, today is just like a normal day. Then bused to pasir ris IKEA & cabbed home.

Then wanted to play viwawa with cliques! But I am so fucking sleepy! GOSH!
Okay, I think I that’s all!
Nights everyone! (L)

*lights off*

BYE-EE!

JoL says: I am still waiting :'(

HELL-OS!

Morning peepos! Here I am again!
A rather happy start for me! Anyway! I will be going for an interview today @ tannery road! Hopefully every thing goes well & I could get the job! :D

& since I have never failed any interview before, I hope this is not the 1st one yah? Wish me luck k?!

Remember 1 year 4months ago, I came over to Independent for interview, even though I was with puipui at that moment, but he is busy with his studies, so he didn’t accompany me for the interview, but nonetheless, he called me up & keep on messaging me to stop me from getting nervous & so till my interview ended.

1 year 4months later, he is in the camp so he couldn’t accompany me to the interview and no messages, no calls keeping me cool. ;’( Haiish.

Everyday waiting for his calls, his messages, I know he is in the camp, I know he has got no choice cause he has to serve the NS. Even though he says he miss me a lot, love me a lot, he has to find chances to talk to me, message me. I know he is very 辛苦, very tired. I tried to be understanding enough to not 烦 him with my stuffs when he is in the camp, listening to his says & so on. But I am really tired to keep waiting, everyday have to wait like an idiot. Like I say in my previous post, even if I have any unhappy thing on that day, I can’t call him, even if I text him, he won’t be able to reply. I guess for this 1 year+ I really relied a lot on him which none of us realize it at all. :’(

Haiish, I really wished that he could be beside me again. I don’t know why I am turning crazy already, it’s just 14 days. & now just for another 8 days, he will be back, but I don’t know why I just can’t take it anymore. ;’(

haiish…

Sorry for the above rantings! Just need to rant out everything & will be ok soon.

:D

BYE-EE!

JoL says: I am sick & tired! :(

HELL-OS!

Another post! I am such a good girl right?
Been posting everyday! But is someone out there reading? LOLS!

Fall sick yesterday! Thought about things that puipui did for me every time. Thinking back every time when I fall sick, puipui will be beside me looking after me no matter how tired he is, making me laugh when I am sick so I could feel better, using ice water to cool my temperature down, buy porridge for me to eat, tap me to sleep, cover me with blanket, helping me to massage & feeding me with medicine. Simple actions, but made me the happiest girl on earth. :D
Then yesterday, meet up with pearlyn, huiyu & adrian! Did the same old thing again & homed around 10+pm. Tried hard to sleep, tried hard not to feel sad, tried hard to swallow my tears down my throat & fell asleep.

& here I am in the office blogging after finishing my work & anyway! I’ve send out my resume to 10+ companies! Hopefully they could get back to me soon! :D

Okay, that’s all for today!

BYE-E!

JoL says: 9 more days!

HELL-OS!

Morning peeps!
Spend my monthsary with the usual cliques (pearlyn, felicia, adrian & huiyu), as puipui is stuck in the camp. Met up with pearlyn at TP, then walk towards 851 and then wait for huiyu & fel. Went over to 844 & 打包 food & went to 842 and slack, play poker and etc.
Then adrian came over to find us. & they send me home around 10+pm.

I really appreciate a lot that cause after puipui got into NS, they have been spending time with me, sending me messages, showing me care & concern, giving me support, even though they are all busy with their stuffs. :D Really a million thanks to my cliques! Love you guys! :D

Then puipui have been in camp for 5 days already! He have lost his voice & been very busy with his training. Then he have been complaining to me how tired he is and sharing his fun in bunk with me. :D Then now I can only wait quietly for his return, right puipui? ;)

Ok lurhs that’s all peeps!

BYE-EE!

JoL says: IMISSMYPUIPUI!!

HELL-OS!



Back blogging again! Trying very hard to keep my blog active, so it won’t be dead before puipui come back to my side!

25th July -SATURDAY

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY ADRIAN BRO! :D

Went down to sengkang and slack with the usual cliques (pearlyn, adrian & huiyu).
Played poker but no longer as noisy as before, this shows how noisy puipui is! :D
When I was on the way down to sengkang, I cried all the way the minute I go into bus 291 & down from bus 88. Every where I go, I see puipui face! I know you guys must be thinking that I am crazy! he is just going away for 2 weeks not forever! But I am just missing him too much & we have been sticking to each other for 15 months! Never leave me before! ;’( Then cabbed home around 12+, cried again! haiish.


26th July- SUNDAY





















Woke up around 10, did all the house chores. But when Mr. Lau is in I still got nagged. But never mind. Then went out with bodohsis, meet up with stupid kor and Wendy at TM, and proceed to SAFRA! Wanted to play pool but was fully booked! Then they wanted to go bowling, but also fully booked! So walked to mac & had double fillet meal! & was DAMN FILLING! & after that went home, waited for puipui’s call, did nothing and interviewed the couple at home! Haha! :D


27th July- MONDAY








HAPPY 16th MONTHSARY PUIPUI!

Haiish, this is another anniversary that you couldn’t spend it with me. (DAMN SAD!)
But I couldn’t do anything. Been washing my face with tears whenever I thought of you, whenever I need you but I couldn’t call you, whenever I miss you and text you but you couldn’t reply. :’(

I have been looking like an idiot! Every time my phone rings, I hope you are the one who is calling me. Every time my phone vibrates, I hope you are the one who is messaging me. When it’s not you, I am damn sad! But when it’s you, I am damn happy! Haiish, another 10days and I would be seeing you! I really hope the time could fly faster! I am really missing you that fucking hard! & it’s nobody who could replace you. ILOVEYOU! :’(






IMISSYOURIDIOTICFACE! :'(

JoL say: 14days of separation :'(

RE: COUNTING DOWN TO 14 DAYS (13 NIGHTS) TILL I COULD HUG PUIPUI!

HELL-OS!

I haven been blogging lately due to my laziness, tiredness, busyness!
& now, since puipui has already book in, I am here blogging!

& I have been meeting up with puipui before he gets into camp.
Trying to spend more time with him, even though it’s not just the two of us but at least he is beside me & I could feel him. :D

& today is the day; puipui book in. & it would be for 2 weeks that I am not able to see him, just with a little of sms and a few minutes of phone chat with him. & I guess I have to survive this torture! & of cause, this means that there will be no more bedtime stories for me, no-one to let me bully, no-one to listen to my rubbish, no-one to cheer me up when I am down, no-one to say stupid jokes to let me laugh, no-one to feed me till fatter, no-one to let me vent anger on, no-one to give me a hug & kiss everyday, no-one to talk me to sleep, no-one to sayang me, no-one to kip sms me, no-one to keep calling me, no-one to let me bite, no-one to accompany me and most importantly! No-one will shower me with Tender, Loving, Care. :’(

& even though puipui called me up a few times during my work, but I only managed to talk to him for like 2-3 minutes and we have to hang the phone. ;( Hopefully, everything goes well for him during his NS period. & now I don’t know I need wait for how long for his call and message lerhs. Hope he can contact me soon? Cause, I REALLY FUCKING MISS HIM!!

& puipui say, he could only book out on 6th Aug (Thursday), which is like 14days later! And book in on 9th Aug (Sunday). & this means, he couldn’t spend National Day with me! & no fireworks for him and me! :’( I AM SO SAD! ;( But there is nothing we can do, isn’t it? ;’(

Lastly, people I tried to blog a few times today, but I failed! Is BLOGGER down or something? There is an error that everything went hay-y-yer! Thus, I couldn’t type at all. ;’( So please help me out with it if you got any idea about this k? :D

BYE-EE!

JoL says: 2 more weeks.

MORN-NING!

Met up with the usual cliques yesterday at sengkang! Did the same old thing & everyone was damn tired lurhs! Been sleeping very late recent. But I don’t mind, as long as I think is worth it and fun lurhs!

Then today, woke up at 7.30am! Rush down to work and now having gastric! Hate this man! Then later meet up with the usual cliques again. Hope everything goes well eh?


& saw the above pic?

I want to watch ‘The Haunting in Connecticut’! Ok, that’s all for now!

BYE-E,
LOVED!

JoL says: Ban You Arsehole!

MORN-ING!
Surprised to see me so early eh? Just came in to ban the following IP address:-

218.186.13.227
218.186.13.231
218.186.13.243

Anyway just a note, friends and peeps who want to tag me please tag with your own name or nicknames that I know. I would appreciate it so much yah? :D

Met up with the usual clique (huiyu, adrian, pearlyn, felicia and puipui) at 851 yesterday. But since there are too many cockroaches around, so we move to 843. :D did the same usual stuff, we joke, we play, we had fun, we fight, we quarrel then went home around 1 in the morning. :D

As for today, will be meeting them again tonight. But I might be going down sengkang instead of them coming over Tampines. So let’s see how the wind blows. :D

BYE-E!

JoL says: Lots of pictures!

HELL-LO!

Sorry bloggy for the delay of updates happening in my life!
And since I am free now, I shall update with more pictures and less wordings.
So I shall let the picture do the talking yah? :D







































Back from chalet (26-29Jun). *I know I am kind of lag, but please bear with it!*
The chalet was a success. So a hundred thanks to the following people for coming and helped out in finishing all the food and prepare the stuffs. :-

huiyu (sis), adrian (bro), felicia (mei), gary (mei-fu), moses (cowpapa), moses’di (uncle), hanwei (laodi), aloysius (bro), eden, pearlyn (sister), terence, jennifer, william, carrie, mattew, miss liu, mr teo, lawrence (puipui) and jolanda (me)!

Had a lot of fun during the chalet. But really got very tired after that!
& oh ya! i finally sat on the ferry wheel! :D











Then sis, bro, puipui and I (the usual clique) have been slacking. Then mei and laodi joined in too.
Played poker, chat, laugh, fight, and had fun! :D

Think that’s all for now.
Meeting mei and sis later on, and slack around my place.

BYE-E!