我 后 悔 了 。

Secret.

anyway,
i got no idea hw th fuck i injuried my leg =.="
the pain is killing me!!! FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!
& now i have difficulty walking!!
SO FUCKING PAIN.
pain till my tears rolling down my cheeks. lols.
siann..thinking whether i should cab home today after work a not.
cosh i still have to bring my lappy back!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK IT!

budd heng!
tomlo holiday~~~
HOHOHOHO :DD
gonna stay at home th whole day & rest my leg :DD
hopefully saturday can recover !!
if nt i dnt oe hw to come back to work =.="

k lurhs tats all?
bye people.

13MONTH~

hahas, today didnt go to work, kinda aching all over,

so slp till 11+ gng 12 O.o

thn called dear cause she lunch tym soon le ma hahas.

chatted and she said: Ah D, i got something for you.

O.o so making some weird guesses but all wrong which she said LOLS~.

So after work,she cabbed over and i'm lyk guessing e gift from her

and she said dont open ar only till i leave thn can open

so i said OK^^

went to mommom and bring my Dog for a walk ...

open e gift whn she left.

OMG~ hahas.LOVE IT MAN!!!

ty Deedee Happy 13 Month !!!

ilu

Soon Its Going To Be Our 1st yr & 1stmonth ^^

24/4/09

Maybe dear didnt notice cause so much happen tis week,

but it gng b our First Year First Month soon le wahaha.

2dae so bored @ home thn e stupid aloy ar sae meet till his pi gu thr,

-__- so post-pone to sunday.

Bring ah jie down walk walk thn who knows saw Mr 'Tong Ji Fan'-aka ah rui.

talk a lil with him thn go Pasir Ris fetch my dearest.

So we went over to White Sand Mall,

ate @ e food court and decided to go to Pasir Ris Park.

Sat down on some rocks thr and chatted and chatted.

Sometym somethings must b said so each other know wad you're doing.

Had a nice chat didnt we x)).

Thn something happen....*Secret between Dear and Me*

So after tat was drench with sweat...

too long nvr run le bahs so tired but still ok la.

20min To&Fro from e park to Ehub thn bak to e Park lols.

cabbed her home and sat and watch tv with her thn go off.

Told her bedtym story of " The Three Little Pig"

lols so cute ~ thn she really oiinks oiinks.

gng down smoke jiu crash le nytee guys~

Gud Nytee Dearest Gal *slp tight yeah?

dont kick ur blanky away agn 2nytee (\)(~.~)(/) Hugs*

Puting Down Everything.

making a quick post juz b4 gg off from work (:
met up with mei ytd~chatted alot alot alot alot!
& i guess, she is th one who really could uds me barhs.
which make me feel, HAPPY!:D

i mean at least someone uds me, can feel hw i feel.
& good thing by telling her is, she nvr judge.

BUT, to prevent friction & my r/s with boyf will be smoother oso.
& we wnt tok anything regarding some ppl & his family.
simple, as both me n boyf dnt wana let anything or anyone to affect our r/s again.

budd somethings are for sure~
i wn't let anyone make used of me anymore.
&& i will only take it as,
你们这些“朋友“我白交了，也白帮了。

so from now,
everything will be th same as in th past,
i don't know yoo guys & yoo guys dnt oe me. :D


tats all

:D

&

IMISSMYBOYFRIEND!

Living In The Past.

Th pain & dissapointment is still there *pointing to ("v")*

had a very long chat with dear again ytd at th playground!
very long nvr go there with dear alrdy,
we chatted alot of th past , had fun & dear was shocked that i rmbed almost everything that was happening to us.

such as,

wad we wear at our 1st meeting, did he bing any bag, the content of our conversation in th past, my 1st cry infront of him, the song that was playing in th background while imm crying, the promises he make to me, the 1st ciggy he bought for me, the 1st meal we had tgt, th things his family & his frens hurt me, th things my family & frens hurt him, etc & etc.

so much of memories between us.
think back about wad we did in th past,
was very funny & silly! HAHA.
budd still i missed those dayss of our past...


;'(

We fight & we broke up , We kissed & we made up!

We fight & we broke up.
had a super terrible day on monday.
everyone says is my fault thats y bee ended our r/s.
giving negative comments to bee.

ask him to give up on me.
ask him to ignore me.
ask him nt to sms me.
ask him to nt care abt me anymore.
ask him to forget abt me.
ask him isit cosh he treat me too good tat i climb on top of him & shyt.

told him hw bad imm as his girlf.
told him hw much i dnt appreciate him.
told him tat there is no point holding on to this r/s, cosh imm not worth.

& etc..

TRUE.
yoo guys are trying to make him feel btr~
yoo guys wana let him oe yoo guys are there for him~
yoo guys wana cheer him up~

wad yoo all did was wad a fren should be doing.

budd since i ever heard yoo guys saying that yoo guys dont like to be judge by ppl,
then i ask yoo back,
WHO THE FUCK YOO TINK YOO ARE TO JUDGE ME OR OUR R/S ?!
HOW MUCH DO YOO KNOW ABOUT ME?!
HOW MUCH DO YOO UDS ME?!
HOW LONG DO YOO KNOW ME?!
HOW THE FUCK YOO UDS WAD IMM GOING THROUGH?!

nothing?. limited understanding?

like wad bee told me,
treat other ppl like how i wan them to treat me.
budd afterall, i dont tink things really work out that way isn't it?

I Love My Boyfriend deep inside me.
budd imm not like yoo guys including my own bf,
i dnt oe hw to show. i dnt oe hw to express.
BUDD.
I DNT SHOW DOESNT MEAN I DNT LOVE!DOESNT MEAN I DNT CARE!

i admit.
i hurt bee alot & many times i kept quiet..
budd who the fuck oe everytime i hurt him i hurt myself too?!
i know yoo all muz be tinking i 自作自受,
budd do yoo tink when one ppl is angry, letting all emotions taking over,she still can control wad is comming out of my fucking mouth?!
if yoo can, good for yoo. budd i fucking hell CANT!
who uds? who uds the pain, the stress, the pressure imm having?

& dont ever compare me with any of yor exs,
cosh i din 'zhao sai' my boyf. imm tiong xim & i can swear.
juz that th way i express is different.
& which imm trying very hard to change, trying very hard not to hurt my boyf.

anyway, i tried my best in this r/s.
juz that i dnt show, doesn't mean i dnt love him, doesnt mean i dnt protect him, doesnt mean i wana hurt him, doesnt mean i dnt care, doesnt mean i dnt mind abt his feelings.

budd of cosh, i know i cant let my past be a burden to our r/s anymore.
budd who can teach me hw to walk out of my door.
i wanted to. i tried my best to. budd i juz cant.

had a heart to heart tok with me ytd for 3-4 hrs.
i told him many of my secrets. many of my thinkings, & y did i do things in certain way that will hurt him when i dnt mean to.
& listen to what he said, i've gt no choice to admit, we have many things to worked on & immm veryveryvery sorry, cosh of my ego which i cant put down, cosh i dnt wan yoo to tink tat imm very weak, cosh of my character, cosh of my bad habit, i hurt yoo & myself.

budd i really really happy that, in the end of our chat, eventhough i kip hiding from his 眼神, he forced me to look into his eyes & tell me he believe me.

He believed that one day i would changed.
He believed that one day i would open my door & walk out to accept him.
He believed in ME.
& i tink thats enough for me.

budd oso from the chat, i really really got very dissapointed in some ppl.
cosh i always thought they will uds.
budd turn out to be no, they dont uds at all.
& they are someone who i dotes on, care for, concern for,love for.
budd i tink everything wnt be th same anymore , & i tink same things apply to them too.

ok lerhs..
thats all, hopefully things will get btr for us..
& i will try my best to control & change for btr..
& will try very hard to forget everything that happen on monday!

imm bleeding 100x more than yoo..

没有人会知道我的心有多痛。
没有人知道我留了多少眼泪。
没有人知道我真的崩溃了。


MY HEART REALLY HURTS THAT MUCH THAT MUCH.

-Jolanda.

Day 386,

9264 hours since we had been tgt,
I felt so bad for hurting you tym and again,

guess tat u've had enough of me and don wanna see me anymore,

The world suddenly seems crushing down onto me fallin in

as i'm sitting @ home thinkin of our past,

those happy moments we had before ,

from hw we started happily, quarrels, cold wars, swt moments,

went to see each other parents and our holiday.

I felt so bad thinkin bout it,

seems lyk a knife stabbing me everytym i think bout you,

not because of you but because of me- treating you so badly.

Whn you sms me to look for a btr GF,the clock seems to stop,

everything slowed down,weird thoughts started poping out,

emotions starting to arouse and heart seems to stop beating.

Because of my words, I've hurt you again, such a failure i am huh?

Back thn I Promise you tat i will nt let you cry,will not hurt you,

looks lyk i didnt kept those promises hard enough.

trying my best is nt good enough cause

i still did hurt u with those hurtful words just now.
I hope tat we'll still stay on tgt and find out hw long our TOGETHER is...

But seems lyk we can only find tat out If you forgive me.

Bee(Lau Mei Chen), i know i've been stupid and truly hope tat you'll

Forgive ME.

Let tmr be a day of Joy for e both of us, we've been through so much.

I Hope our TOGETHER doesn't End here on

Day 386,Hour 9264,Min 556020,Sec 33361200.

Like wad i said, Hubby loves you always.

24/7,31/31,27/24,

No MC,No Ph,No AL.

Just For you.