JoL says: Happy 17th monthsary. :}

It’s another rainy day.
At the same time, today is our 17th monthsary.

Don’t know whether it still matters to him a not but still,

Happy 17th monthsary puipui.

Haven been really contacting with him this week, he is busy with his stuffs and I’m keeping myself busy with my stuffs and had been sleeping early too. & just one or two messages a day kept our relationship going for this week, & he might not be booking out this weekend as he might be having test or something? But no worries! I’m still staying strong and might be stronger than before, even without him by my side. :}

Alright been watching movies and series on Funshion! & had a great laugh after all!
& I have finish reading the book “Scarred by Sophie Andrews”, the story made me think back a lot. But it did motivate me a lot to breathe on when times I lost my breath. So it’s greatly encouraged by me to buy the book okay emo-peeps? :}

& peeps who wanted to find out more about “Scarred” before you buy the book, you could visit the website @ http://www.sophieandrews.co.uk/ .

Ok that’s all for now!
Bye peeps!

JoL says: dead in my own world =/

Morning peeps! I’m back posting!
Went MIA for like 2 weeks? Is anyone out there still reading it not? LOLS!
Anyway, I’m thinking what to blog about cause my life have been quite fuck up!
Many things running in my mind, but I didn’t know what to blog about. =/

& babes and hunk,
Is it true that when guys serve NS, they tend to change a lot?
Or is it girls are the one changing when their boyf is serving NS?

But anyway, I don’t care any more. I will just do the things I feel its right & I am happy about it. Everything, all the memories that we had for 1 year 4months+ will be thrown away. Since I am not allowed to talk about the past, make sure you don’t. & treat me the way you wan me to treat you, this is what you told me but yet you can’t do it. I’ve to change too much just to suit you & in the end this is what I deserved. This is man huh? When your girl treats you badly, treats you like a shit. You gave her everything in the world & tell her she is worth whatever you are doing. & when the girl wanted to treat you better, giving you everything she’s got, helping you to do stuffs when you aren’t around. Hoping that you will feel happier, and heartbreaks are all you could give her. & tell her cause that’s how she treats you first.

To me now, why should I do things for you which I don’t even like it? Why should I treat you better now & let you took me for granted? Why should I believe whatever you have been telling me when you are in the camp & face all this shit alone when you are out of camp? Why should I rush down to meet you when you are booking out on the day just to let you ask me when am I here, I am working the next day? Why should I rush down to meet you when you are booking in on the day just to let you hurt me again by commenting how I dressed up? Why should I quarrel with my dad & mum just because of you? Why should I be bothered when you are having diarrhea & when I am having gastric cramp you throw me alone at the back? Why should I be spending time with your family when you rather wait for me downstairs when I am preparing & not bothered to even come up & say hi? Why can’t I scold vulgarities at you when you scolded me cheebye? Why should I listen to your sorry again & again for this 1 month & listen to you saying you will treat me better for your next book out, but when you are out you treats me the same as your previous book out? Asking myself, are you worth everything I did for you for these few months after our last breakup? I don’t know...

& from now on, I will go back to the life before I know you after I got hurt by all those bastards whom I knew. I will get back on my feet alone, & depend on my own. I will no longer rely on you, depend on you, and not even a single bit.

Don’t ask me if I am ok a not? Cause the LMC in the past will not fall so easily. & don’t ask me if we are ok a not? Cause I don’t know. Don’t ask me if I love you not? It’s because love you too much and that’s why I am hurt that deep by you. & if you realize, I haven been asking you whether you love me a not, reason is not because you keep telling me you love me, but is because, I want you to show me you love me & not through telling me you love me.

But anyway, it’s no longer important already. Not because I don’t want to be with you, or I don’t love you. But I don’t want to ask anything from you & listen to all the sweet talks that will only happen for one day & everything will be back to square one…

JoL says: Enough...

我只想让一切保持现状，
不想再有任何的改变，
我不想再受伤，不想再哭了...

JoL says: I am so sensitive! so what?

HELL-OS!

morning everyone!:D

Went down to sk after work, met up with the cliques.
had an argument with puipui ytd through the phone, on the way home.
don't know why i am so sensitive to what he say, but i just lost my mind yesterday!
then reached home, went to bed straight.

As for today, puipui is booking out but not sure is it afternoon or evening.
might not be meeting him today & tomorrow. Let's see how the wind blow today. :D

Ok that's all for today!
a rather short post for the day,
& ohh ya! i have been playing restaurant city!
& i need BACON, PASTA & EGG for trade!
so any kind-hearted peeps wana trade me?! :D

BYEE-E!!:D

JoL says: Lost control of my emotions.:'(

:'(

再也控制不了我自己的情绪，
压力好大，好烦，
内心里好难过，好无奈，好无助..
不知道该怎么办， 不知该做什么让自己开心
好希望现在他能在我的身边，
像以前那样，在我的身边..

可是他不可以.....

JoL says: I am upset deep in,who fucking uds?! (T_T)

HELL-OS!
I've cut my hair! & so fucking short now lurhs!
So upset that my tail is gone :'(

Anyway! I am thinking of getting a diploma certificate!
But not very sure which course should i enter.
Whether is it a Accounting? Psychology? Hopitality & tourism? Logistic?
Which should i choose? Any idea from anyone? :D

Okay, i think thats all!
Gonna check out the private school courses & fees!

& wait for puipui's call & msg!

HE HAVEN CALL ME FOR THE DAY! :'(

NIGHTS ALL!(L)

-EDITED-

I DON'T WAN TO WAIT ANYMORE!!!

NABEICB!!!!!!

I DON'T WANT CARE! DON'T WANT BOTHER ANYMORE!!!

CB!!!!!!!

HATE IT LURH FUCK!!!

REALLY FUCKING HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*I AM RUNNING AWAY FROM EVERYTHING!EVERYONE!*

BYEE-EE!

JoL says: Getting used to the life w/o you by my side :D

HELL-OS!

I haven been blogging for the past 2 days! I am so sorry peeps!
Anyway! Puipui is going to book out soon & I had prepared a surprise for him! :D

Just came back from sengkang. Did the same old thing again! But before that, I slept on puipui’s bed! But still, I didn’t dream of him! But anyway! Aunty was so cute lurhs! Saw me then keep smiling & smiling! I guess she really miss puipui a lot! Then some more I resemble puipui a lot! Anyway, today is just like a normal day. Then bused to pasir ris IKEA & cabbed home.

Then wanted to play viwawa with cliques! But I am so fucking sleepy! GOSH!
Okay, I think I that’s all!
Nights everyone! (L)

*lights off*

BYE-EE!