7.2.09

Not Now...


i hasn't been controlling myself.
don even feel lyk giving in anymore.
(budd maybb to yoo, i have nvr ever give in b4.)
as th time goes by, both of us changed.
lyk wad yoo sayy to me in th past,
my walls are high & its getting higher as th days goes by.
i gt no idea wads wrong with me too.
everytime i juz wan to have a nice date with him,
we will always ended up quareling?
& both of us will act as nth had happened?
i mean i dnt lyk tat way, i felt bad...
mayb we should talk out?
budd to be honest, i dnt have th mood to..i dnt feel lyk too.. haiish.
many times i really feel lyk giving up.
imm juz tired.....
of cosh, i cant blame him only for wad happen between us.
to me now, he is lyk a young chap? & imm lyk a so-called matured woman?
i no longer think lyk hw i thought about things in th past.
we seems to be facing a very big communication error?
so B, don ask me lyk wad yoo did on thursday.
cosh i dnt oe how to tell yoo. i dnt oe wad to tok to yoo.
maybb i have shut myself up alrdy? sry..


i know he have been keeping stuffs in himself.
budd me too. i gt no1 to fall back on, not even to my closest person.
i dnt have th feelings lyk i had in th past, whereby i could tell myself tat i could depend on this man, yes i can. budd now, i would ask myself.
is this man really someone dependable?
its different.

budd of cosh. i do love him tats y i have been hanging on.
i guess he is th same too.
cosh even if i cant feel him anymore,
th ppl ard us have been telling me
"yoo meant alot to him" , "he really loves yoo alot" , "maybb if yoo all really ended, he might jump down a building leh!" .
& at th end i agree with them too. LMAO!


budd currently,
even after i posted this entry, i dnt wana tok about it yet.
maybb one day. budd seriously not now.
cosh isn't th time yet. ;(